I was informed that me being emotionally unavailable is why our relationship didn’t work, funny thing was I felt happy after he said it.
Forwards I recieve at work
This one is titled “And then the fight started…”
How Fights Start:
My wife sat down on the settee next to me as I was flipping channels. She asked, ‘What’s on TV?’ I said, ‘Dust.’ And then the fight started…
My wife and I were watching “Who Wants To Be a Millionaire” while we were in bed. I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?” “No,” she answered. I then said, “Is that your final answer?” She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes.” So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.” And then the fight started…
I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get sooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn’t believe it… He was a dwarf!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, “I AM NOT HAPPY!!” So, I looked down at him and said, “Well, then which one are you?”… An that’s how the fight started…
My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming anniversary. She said, ‘I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 seconts.’ I bought her a bathroom scale. And then the fight started…
After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver’s license to verigy my age. I lloked in my pockets and realized I had left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I would have to come back later. The woman siad, ‘Unbutton your shirt’. So I opened my shirt, revealing my curly silver hair.. She said, ‘That silver hair on your chest is proof enough for me’ and she processed my Social Security application. When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the office. She said, ‘You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten disability, too.’ And then the fight started…
This was the first thing in my email inbox at work… with that kind of start to the day, it doesn’t seem so bad… At least I can call Ghostbusters
Every time I consider seeing Avatar,
I remember James Cameron directed it.
Every time I consider seeing AVATAR, I remember that Kevin Costner directed it and called it Dances with Wolves.
Every time I consider seeing AVATAR, I remember Peyo created it and he’s not getting any credit for it.
Every time I consider seeing AVATAR, I remember it’s about Smurfs.
Every time I consider seeing AVATAR, I remember I’m high and I go to the Wawa to get snacks.
Burwell, we need to hang out.
And AVATAR looks like shit.
Every time I consider seeing Avatar, I remember its original title was Dancing With Pocohantas/Smurfs.
Every time I consider seeing Avatar, I remember it is $200,000,000 glorified smurf movie that has action figures that look like the high end of the dollar store selection.
